did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
