so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize