The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
