just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
