All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize