At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Congratulations! We have a period
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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