Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Randomize