I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
