You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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