i don't like sucking hair
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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