I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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