Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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