I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
