Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize