He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
