Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
