walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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