I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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