So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
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