Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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