You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
