I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
She told me I should be a condom model.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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