I wannas sexs uuuuu
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
