i would punch a child for taco bell
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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