I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
