And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
