if i died would you start the facebook group?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
