Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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