I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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