omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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