Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He better not be in your backpack
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
