On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
where does the pee come out of this thing
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Randomize
