it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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