Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize