Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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