even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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