he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
