My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
