Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
