Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize