So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
