just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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