why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
