Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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