I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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