i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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