Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
