he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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