I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
