Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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