I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
