it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
