your room smells of hookers.
And success
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
