There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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