His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
